On the bike

Folks sometimes ask me what I do on the bike for 6-8 hours

We'll start with the obvious: pedal, pedal, pedal. Drink, eat, pedal

Think about how much everything hurts

Turn on music

Watch your heart rate. Wonder at what point above your max heart rate your heart actually explodes

Turn on music

Try to find something that doesn't hurt. Fail. Wonder if you are going to make it

Turn music louder to drown out negative self talk

Mimic Jens Voigt (pro cyclist) and shout "SHUT UP LEGS!"

Write blogs in your head (they are always much more entertaining than what actually comes out)

Pretend you are chasing down a break in the Tour de France

Stand up. Sit down. Squirm. Stand up and stretch. Wonder if everyone else is hurting or just me. Stand up again. Give in to the pain

Ponder things past. Work out things present. Wonder about what is next

Pretend you are a pro cyclist in the northern classics

Make a To Do list. Promptly forget everything on it

Are we lost?

Wonder how many ears of corn are in an acre. How do we use this much corn. And all these soybeans - what on earth are they all for

Find the tallest rider and strategize ways to always draft off them

Wonder how long that dog can run, how many times it can cross the road before it gives up

Is that a hawk?

Argh - how many more miles?

I'm so thirsty. I'm out of water. I have to go to the bathroom. If I hold it maybe I can re-constitute it

I think I'll give up cycling. Geez I don't remember this hill being so hard

I wonder what that noise is

And sometimes. Nothing. At. All.