Remembering Today

Today is a very special day. It is the day God decided to take Dad home 4 years ago. It's a day of celebration, because we know what's in store for him.

But we weren't ready. I'm not sure you can ever truly be ready. And at times the loss can be suffocating - the memories overwhelming.

The time lost, the questions you can no longer ask. Four years is certainly long enough to heal, but the scab sets in such a way the wound just changes, and never truly heals.

Perhaps that is what makes love so special. Without feeling so completely, you cannot miss or mourn what is gone. The memories are wonderful, the pain is deep.

Sometimes through the eyes of others you learn more of a person. I learned the type of man my father was through his friends. Yesterday I spent the day with my Dad's brothers son, my cousin Dale. Through him I learned how differently we can look at a man, how differently we can look at a father. His father was always one of my favorites, my Dad one of his. Funny how differently we see both of them.

From my Dad Dale learned much, trades that he continues to use today building hospitals. From Dale I was able to see another facet of my father that I had missed.

I may never get the complete picture, but each new experience continues to shape my memories. And my memories continue to shape me.

Today is a day of sorrow. Words leading to tears, memories that remain painful. But four years on I have seen more of the man, the father, the friend, the grandfather, the great-grandfather, the uncle. And from this view I have seen the good results those long painful weeks presented. There is a bit of good from our shared experience that lives in all of us, that we can choose to use or ignore. It is our choice, and our final gift of love to our father.

As we remember him today.